1. Wearing less is more. Whether on the beach or on the street, less is more. Nipples on the beach is totally normal. Mums and daughters sunbake topless together, even helping each other apply suncream. If you do decide to wear clothes, opt for a string bikini, sheer lace or crochet.
2. It´s totally ok jog up and down the beach in your teeny tiny swimmers. It´s also totally acceptable to clap and cheer as extremely attractive people walk past you. They love to celebrate good looks here in Ibiza.
3. ‘Mutton dressed as lamb’ is so common here, no one blinks an eye at a 60 year old women in a gold sequin boob tube, red denim mini and clear perspex heels, oh and fake Louis Vuitton tote bag and massive chandelier earrings. Totally normal.
4. In August Ibiza is filled with holidaying Italians. The guys blow me away, they all have overly manicured eyebrows and remove all hair from their chest and legs. Topped with Adonis like tans. Got me thinking, should I shave my legs too? hmmm.
5. Walking down the street at night, within 100 metres you will have received at least 5 offers for ‘private taxi´, tickets or disco candy.
6. Dance music plays everywhere. Even as I sit in this Internet cafe, I can see 20 heads all swaying to the music playing. Even on the beach as everyone sunbakes on their white day beds, you can still see their heads sway and feet move. Oh, even at the airport on arrival David Guetta was pumping out of the sound system.
7. I swear every taxi driver is or was a Formula One race car driver. As soon as they hit a highway, prepare to hit speeds of 160km.
8. I just went to the gym and no one was wearing shirts, not even the gym manager. Talk about intimidation.
9. Ibiza has 6 main superclubs that compete for your dollar. All day they send (scantily clad) promo staff to try win you over. The competing shenanigans are extremely interesting to watch. Only in Ibiza.
10. Ibiza truly is a unique experience, it certainly is an island filled with many (too many) good looking (almost too perfect) looking people. But at the same time it is all embracing. The clubs celebrate having fun, and all ages boogie on the dance floor. Everything from 18 to 50+ year old people enjoy the island. Everyone comes together from different backgrounds and bond over fun, music and dance.
As I sat and enjoyed my French style beef tenderloin, washed down with Spanish red wines (Laderas El Seque, to be precise).I finally watched the Justin Bieber movie ‘Never say never. Boy was I impressed and now have a new found respect for him. I think the altitude makes you feel extra emotional. I highly recommend the film.